Is it always the "wife's job" to do the cleaning,cooking,grocery shopping,laundry ect?

i work full time so does he and we both split our household bills 50/50 so why does he leave all this stuff for me to do?yes i have asked for help and he will say things like "you have more time than me" just because i have a 9-5 job and he has to stay late somedays to work on "projects" i should not have to do all the work at home.or he will say he will help later,well "later" never comes and we end up fighting over it after a nagg him about it.
Is it always the "wife's job" to do the cleaning,cooking,grocery shopping,laundry ect?
Just do your own laundry and cleaning. On the nights that he comes home late let him make his own dinner. And tell him you didn't have time to cook his. Sooner or later he will get the picture.
Reply:I work a full time job as well, and I find the time to cook dinner for my husband 5 nights a week, pack him and myself a lunch, I always do the grocery shopping(he volunteers to go with me once in a while), laundry we usually do it together, and cleaning we do together. He does dishes since I cook. But if your husband is working until late, why should he have to come home at 8 or so at night and cook dinner? You should have dinner ready for him when he gets home. You get off at 5, you do have more time than he does.
Reply:leave it there for as long as it takes, eventually he will have to clean it up hey, show him you are not going to be the slave any longer..... leave notes around "clean up after yourself, wash and wipe up and put it away"
Reply:Its a duel partnership I agree, but maybe you should look into a house keeper to come in once a week. You both sound like you have busy lives, and it would take alot of stress out of the relationship
Reply:ask him for some helr
Reply:Just decide who does what. Assign yourself to do the things that will drive you crazy if not done.





Also, include EVERYTHING (as Seti said). Assign him the stuff that you can't or really don't want to do - like yard work or home repairs.





This way, you won't go nuts when the things that really matter to you aren't done - and it will be obvious that he needs to step up his game.
Reply:Do your laundry, 1 meal, make your side of the bed- see how long it takes him to wake up to the fact you need some help.
Reply:Sounds like the household chores should be 50 / 50 also.





He needs to grow up.
Reply:No he needs to step it up a little and help out.





There are things that I do more around the house but only because I like them done a certain way like buy the groceries. If I sent him to the store we'd be eating burgers, pizza, and fries everynight lol. Though he still is really much of a hands on dad on a weekly basis I do more of the bathing and bedtime routine than him when it comes to our son but I don't tend to mind because I love that time with him. ;-) He is a wonderful cook and we both make efforts to do the household chores.





At the same time he does all of our yardwork, fixes things when they break, renovate things that I want changed to my liking and makes me feel safe so I can't really complain.
Reply:GRRRR! Let the housework slide until he starts to moan. See if you always do it then WHY should he? If you're thinking 'then I'd have a load of mess to clean up' that's the wrong mentality....you will BOTH have a lot to clean up. Take a stand now or you'll be the drudge for the rest of your life.





Alternatively....clean only YOUR mess up to make a point....or do just HALF the work.


Talk, seriously, sit down together and write out a rota.


Whatever it takes....don't put up with this.





Best wishes
Reply:It depends... I take it upon myself to do most of the everyday chores because my husband can't cook or shop (when he goes to the store, he comes back with cereal, cookies and hamburger helper), and he doesn't remember to do laundry or dishes. I don't mind doing these easy things in exchange for him taking on all the nasty "men's work" - home improvement projects, plumbing, electrical work, computers and home theatre, car maitenance, etc. He's always working, even when it's not work-related; in the garage making stuff, in the yard, in the computer room. At present time, he's getting ready to rip out the tile in the bathroom, fix the leak, and put the new tile in. I'll take "women's work" any day of the week; do I REALLY want to be smashing up 50% of the tile?





Look closer, you might find that your significant other does things that you take for granted. If keeping up with the housework is really becoming a huge problem for you - hire a maid, and split the expense right down the middle. It's not as expensive as you might think, and if it keeps you happier in your relationship - it is money well spent.
Reply:hell no
Reply:of course it is the wifes job to do the housework





now you just have to decide who the wife in the marriage is, you or him or both to some degree
Reply:i work two job and still help my wife when i could its make life so eazy and we have kids too some night i up all night with the baby so my wife can sleep i hate a mess house
Reply:i just asked my mother to answer this, she said , it was what we were born to do, raised to do,boys were raised and pampered by there Mommy.now my answer, id say help me with half, or cook your own meals and do your own wash,but id dought you'd have a marriage for long, now i raised my son to clean up-after himself, and now that he's married his-wife thanked me, cause hes a clean freak, he loves to clean and cook, she helps, but it does most of it, but no kids-yet, that may change then, id get behind , let the house go for a few days, when he complains tell him, i asked for help?you never came, i cant do it all , by myself always
Reply:yes and dont look at no other answers mine is the only write one....
Reply:when it comes to chores it should be split 50/50. he cooks you clean it. or vis versa. me aand my other do it together. we cook and clean up. we do have that option though we get home around the same time. he should help out wheather he works late or not. a life together is a life together not just when its fun or eating.
Reply:Because we let them by with it. there are still roles attatched to household chores, although we work raise our children and usually our husbands, pay the bills clean cook laundry mow the grass, Ummm let me see, the more we do the less they have to do. And isnt it easier for him to crack a beer on the couch while you fly around like a mad woman trying to get it all done before bed? We allow it and until women put a stop to it, it will continue, as will the nagging and the arguing. And why should later come when they know we get tired of asking and just do it ourselves? When it comes to this one, look in the mirror as should all women in this situation---blame her, not him. Once you come to the conclusion that maybe if you stop asking let the garbage go or leave his clothes on the floor long enough, he will get it done. Just takes retraining!


Good Luck on this one, worked for me I let him run out of clothes and let the garbage go everywhere, took a year but now he can find the hamper and the curb.
Reply:Yes, you should know your role.
Reply:hell no i know exactly how you feel i am in the same situation it sucks to know that when you come home from a long days work you always have something that you need to do at home and then when you get to see him come home and sit on his *** and watch the tv its frusterating and i still havent found away to make mine help me more either but i wish you luck
Reply:It has been a proven and working system that men do the works that are outside the house, while women do the works that are inside the house.





Men do grocery shopping, getting the money to shop, going to the laundry, etc.





Women do cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc.








It should be noted that both can't do outside works and one of them need to do houseworks, if it isn't the woman, then it's the man.





I suggest the two of you decide which chores do you want to do. But one of you definetly need to play the role of a housewife or househusband unless you want your house to disintegrate.
Reply:If this is the way things were meant to be, there would certainily be a whole lot more single people. Tell him the rest besides house cleaning is 50/50 too but you will settle for at least him helping out with the rest and are willing to take whatever help he can give. time is no excuse. Its more of marital courtesy and love for you than anything else. If he doesnt want to help with the groceries then "accidentally" forget his favorites or special requests stating youre just too tired to remember everything. Or tell him youre going to hire a housemaid to help with all the chores and hes going to pay half. It will either work or youre going to get some much needed help. Good luck
Reply:your husband clearly has no respect for you. how about if you do half of everything. do your laundry/not his....pay your bills/not his....wash your dishes/not his....either way there is gonna be an arguement. im really sorry. but until he realizes it takes two and its not 50/50.......its 100/100 then i fear your relationship is doomed. you will surely get tired of this and if you decide to bail on him he is gonna have a stupid look on his face and ask why....what did i do? MEN!!!!
Reply:Reward him with sex if he cleans.