Is it always the "wife's job" to do the cleaning,cooking,grocery shopping,laundry ect?

i work full time so does he and we both split our household bills 50/50 so why does he leave all this stuff for me to do?yes i have asked for help and he will say things like "you have more time than me" just because i have a 9-5 job and he has to stay late somedays to work on "projects" i should not have to do all the work at home.or he will say he will help later,well "later" never comes and we end up fighting over it after a nagg him about it.
Is it always the "wife's job" to do the cleaning,cooking,grocery shopping,laundry ect?
Being married is not a 50/50 relationship. It's a give and take. Sometimes you put in 70% and he 30%.... sometimes it's 25% you and him 75%. What is important is that the two of you are flexible enough to go over the 50% for the other. If BOTH people are striving and willing to surpass and exceed that 50% split line, the two of you should be able to work things out.





I find the 50/50 in household bills split strange sounding, but perhaps it is more normal than I am familiar with. Most of the spouses I know don't split the bills.... it's all one account.... sometimes that makes for a better partnership, because you're both striving for the best welfare of the other.... like if the two of you are a working partnership,... with one account... you wouldn't like overspend from the account... because it's the other person's money, too. You both share the same values and common goals. It makes more sense to split that way if he like splurges and eats out all the time... or if you are like a compulsive shopper that'll get you into debt quickly...





But marriage is a partnership... with individuals striving to make things work with the other partner. If he's always performing under the 50% mark.... then I have to wonder and question where the partnership in the marriage is.
Reply:Don't nag, don't fight............it's useless. Hire a maid service to come twice a week (it's not that expensive) and do the rest as you can. Maybe when he has no clean clothes, he'll do some laundry. Some men still have that picture of June Cleaver doing all the work in their heads and it will never go away. Let him rot in his dirt for a while, and he'll figure out a way to compromise, eventually.
Reply:no it is not alwas the wifes job. i am lucky because my husband is always helping out.. with everything..
Reply:yes, hire a cleaning lady. don't pick up after him.





or, view your marriage as something where you each give 100% - you give your best, you spend your time thinking of ways to show your love for him. then, you may find he's more giving.





also, i found it really helped to draw up a list of every single task for every single room in the house. i'll cross off my tasks and i find that caused him to be more aware of what's getting done and to jump in and help more.





also, i found that criticizing the way a husband does a job will decrease the liklihood that he'll do it again.





p.s. marriages where people split the bills and keep their money separate are far more likely to fail than marriages where both partners throw their money into the common family fund and spend it from there.
Reply:Thats how my husband is too, I have to make him do his part like he is a little kid by unplugging the TV or making fun things unaccessible until he can do his share.
Reply:NO! the best thing to do is split up the work, just like the bills. confront him, even if he thinks you are "nagging" cleaning and all that stuff was for HOUSE wives, the wives who stayed home, but now women are equal, and women have jobs too. your husband has to take some responsibility too, he cant just say, "ill do it later," Stand up, and show him that you dont mess around.
Reply:me an my wife work irregular hours but we both do our bit. i shop, clean, cook an take her to work! she dont drive!
Reply:You have to sit down and make a list of chores for both. He may have to stay late to work on projects but while he is doing that then you are home doing everything so you don`t have the time that he think you do. Just compromise that when he does work late then maybe you could do his chores but when he has the time then he could pay you back by doing some of yours. Or maybe doing them together, that always make me feel better.
Reply:My question to you is this? Does he mow the lawn? Does he do home repairs? Does he provide you security? Does he take care of the car repairs? ummmm.....Maybe he is doing his part, and you just haven't noticed.





I'm not suprised, my ex-wife was the same way and I was the only one that worked outside of the home, and she still b*tched about having to do the cooking, cleaning, and the laundry. I guess some girls just want to sit around eat cookie dough ice cream and watch soaps all day and get fat.
Reply:Do the things you would usually do around the house if you were single. Then, when he comes home, do it together, it goes so much quicker. Hire a cleaning lady for the deep cleaning. My motto which has ended many fights is: "We are both busy 100% of the time". It's not a question of who does "more".
Reply:first thing I want 2 say to you is stop the nagging, if you want to keep your husband. Second, I think that most women has this problem when the wife and the husband work, we have to come up with solutions to make our day better for us because most men won't see it the way we do. So if you can afford to get a cleaning crew to come in maybe 2-3 days out of the week, just to help you out. If not maybe you can come up with some type of solution and when he see that you're smarter than the average nagging wife, I bet you he will try to help out more because you can get so much more done if the 2 of you work together. You need your husband and he needs you!!!!!
Reply:As a couple it should be both of your jobs to do the household chores together.
Reply:NO! it is 50/50. It is both of you that should do this. Help each other and then help yourselves. No selfishness or jealousy should enter the relationship. It will break down the walls little by little like acid eating at something. Do your best and compromise alot. Last but not least. Do not nag it will chase us men off faster than you can spit on the ground. Talk about it. Dont fight.
Reply:no, if you both work the chores should be split up! that just my opinion though....
Reply:hire a cleaning lady
Reply:This is silly, but it's what my next door neighboors do:





CHORES:





Lilly: Paul:


Clean Bathrooms Take care of pets


Wash Dishes Dust


Grocerie Shop Laundry on Sundays


Cook dinner Mon, Tues, Wens Cook Dinner Thurs, Fri, Sat
Reply:If you split the bills 50/50 and you both work...why not split the chores 50/50? Give him the "blue" jobs..garbage, toilet, litter box...etc. Then he knows what he has to do and you know what you have to do and there won't be an arguement.
Reply:i am a little old fashioned nd beleive its primarly the womans job but if yr workin the same hrs then he should help. do u help in the yard work? so if he works a few more hrs than u he should stil help but not 50/50 cos more of his time is taken up . if he dose all the yard duietys than thats less housework he owes u. but definately not none. If u were at hm all day not workin than yes it it entirely yr job but yr not so fair is fair it should b worked out on who spends wat time doing wat
Reply:There shouldn't be any quesion about it. I've always done household chores including all of the above. But I don't believe in any so called equal distribution of chores. If it needed doing and the wife hadn't gotten around to it, then I did it. And I've never intentionally left anything for her to do. And I don't agree with your 50/50 split of bills. All our money goes into the bank ( except for a little mad money we both keep out) and all the bills are paid from that account. Joint decisions are made if we decide to buy something, whatver the price. And I cook as well. I thought that was the way a marriage was supposed to work. I love to spoil my wife. I don't know what I'd do without her, and I surely don't want to find out.
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